This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
