I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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