soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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