She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
