i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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