Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
