i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
