therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
