Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
