Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
