Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
