Whod you bang
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
