real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
