just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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