SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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