i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is wine microwaveable?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
