Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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