the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
