Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
