my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
