whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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