hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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