Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
