I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
