I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
