Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
