I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize