I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
