he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
