Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
