I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
we should paint friendship bongs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
