it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
