I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I die, sorry about rent.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
