i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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