I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
