Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
