her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
did i walk over a car last night?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Mom said you looked used
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
