whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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