Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
