he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
