You can't motorboat a personality
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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