I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You made out with two different species that night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
