I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
