why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
honey bunches of taint.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
