My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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