so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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