i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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