nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
