the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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