Cold hands, warm shart.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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