I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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