C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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