she was so not down for the gang bang
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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