dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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