Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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