Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
