She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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